Maggie Lamond Simone 

  . . . From Beer to Maternity
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Huh. I just realized it's been about a year since I updated my web page; evidently I've become so enamored of Facebook that my poor site has taken a back seat in the attention drive. Stupid Facebook. Stupid, addictive, informative, time-wasting, sanity-saving Facebook. And don't even get me started on Twitter (@maglamondsimone) because I've yet to understand how anything meaningful can be said in 140 characters or less.  

Be that as it may ...

I've been a columnist in central New York for nearly 20 years. My first anthology, a 2010 USA Book News Finalist in three categories, came out in November 2009, "From Beer to Maternity,
" the title a nod to the fact that I started writing when I quit drinking. Coincidence? Perhaps.

My second book, "POSTED: Parenting, Pets and Menopause, One Status Update At a Time," is now available for 
Nook and Kindle. It's only $2.99; you really can't go wrong.

My columns are also included in Not Your Mother's Book ... on Dogs (2012), Not Your Mother's Book  ... on Home Improvement (2013)Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Resolution (2009), P.S. What I Didn't Say (2009), Chicken Soup for the Soul in Menopause (2008), Chicken Soup for the New Mom's Soul (2007),  Misadventures of Moms and Disasters of Dads (2005), and Hello, Goodbye (2004).

You can link to
my blog on Huffington Post here, although I've kind of been slacking off on those because frankly, people are so freaking mean in their comments that sometimes it's easier to just not post. I've been told to get thicker skin, but I've also been told to quit drinking coffee and I'm not doing that either.
 
I've now won seven national awards for my writing. The first was for an essay about breaking my daughter's leg, so that's nice. It was an accident. The second was for an essay about telling my son I'm a recovering alcoholic so that he didn't start off with the misconception that drunks are bad people. I'm a very good person when I'm not blasted.

My first national essay was published in Cosmopolitan, a coup which bought me a Golden Retriever named Decker, who is the subject of my children's book,
LOSING DECKER. It is currently floating around in publishing limbo awaiting a publisher, although it has been published as a poem in So Easy to Love, So Hard to Lose: A Bridge to Healing Before and After the Loss of a Pet by Laurie Kaplan. Another, SOPHIE'S SOUNDS, was released in 2007. And TIMMY AND THE TIMEPIECE is floating with Decker somewhere, keeping him company and trying, most likely, to retrieve its shoe.
 
Oh - and for more fun reading for the whole family, my memoir about self-injuring, Body Punishment, is complete. In my past life, when I didn't much care whether I was here, I had some - oh, let's call them "coping issues." Each time I survived when I probably shouldn't have, I thought, Someday I'll have to write about this. Someday came and went, so we'll see where that goes. And even if the book never gets published, I'd be happy to talk to people (or individuals) about the subject if said people or individuals are struggling. I think that's why I was compelled to write it in the first place, in retrospect; not to sell it, but to heal myself enough to talk about it.

Please feel free to
email
me about my writing or my site. But not my haircut. Leave my haircut alone.

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